Monday, December 13, 2010

Another One Bites the Dust

Herrrre weeee goOOoow (implied Mario Bros call)…! California cities are out of patience. That’s it. Done. Kaput. Finis. Ciao bella. Sayonara. Adios. EL FIN.

Bags are done. It was fun for a while, but let’s really get real. How many times can you put up with a pack of BPA-suckling inbreds with beet-stained teeth travelling 3000 miles to your little town just to sue you for tidying up your neighborhood? I think the towns’ residents reached have reached their limit, thankyouverrrymuch.

The city of Long Beach, with a grand measure of “encouragement” from the hard-hitting Long Beach Surfrider chapter, voted 6-2 (sorry, not even close) last week to fashion an ordinance to ban single-use plastic bags by next summer. Fabuloso Maximo!

So last month it was unincorporated LA County, now the city of Long Beach…who’ll be next…? Can you say "dominoes"? Hello Clean Beaches! Bravo Surfrider Long Beach!

California tried to be nice about this bag ban stuff this summer via AB1998 – in which the entire state could have had a nice uniform bag ban in place, but nooOOooo…the slack-jawed dingbats at the ACC had to make things difficult on everyone – AND now, themselves. They did their level-best to promote filthy neighborhoods by knocking that bill down with a landslide of payola, and now they should have their hands full suing every Golden State municipality that chooses to clean up their environs and reduce waste that ends up in the ocean. Gentlemen, start yer engines!

I can just hear the ACC parents telling their kids this holiday season, “Sorry Elwood, but we are being forced to spend your Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa pony money to sue every city in California – please accept this thrift-store athletic-support garment instead of the pony this year, OK?...oh, by the way, do you have your law degree yet, hmmmmm?”. What a tired paradigm…perhaps one day they’ll find value in working with bag-banning cities instead of against them, ya think?

It's gettin' dusty out west - NICE!
[Queue the last two seconds of AC/DC’s Shot Down In Flames.]